i am.

"I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation -- but I'm working on the foundation."

-Marilyn Monroe

gorgeous boy, kiss me here....

a feeling called love

*via fine tuning's flickr.

I should quit you...

but i don't know how.

you look good on me... though i know that sounds silly.

you entertain me.

you give me pleasure.

you calm my nerves.

you are the perfect date when drinking is involved.

or when i wake up and before i go to bed.

and inbetween.

you are something i should give up because you are not good for me.

for my heart. or for my body. or for my life.

but i just can't seem to...

it's crazy

to need you.

i'm talking about a nasty habbit. smoking. not an old lover, though that probably fits too.

meg's body initiative.

i can not tell you how many times i have fought with my own body. the gym and i have a love-hate relationship with serious droughts of getting together.

that the only time i could ever be truly defined as skinny was in high school... when i worked in food and refused to eat it. I guess you could say i had my own little ned. and when i was forced to give ned up, it wasn't happily, and sometimes i'm jealous of my will-power back then. {sick i know} now i'm the girl who impresses the boys with how much i eat on dates.

meg was inspired by regina spektor's song to create her body initiative series:

i've got a perfect body, but sometimes i forget, i've got a perfect body 'cause my eyelashes catch my sweat, yes they do.

what a fabulous idea! to ask each of us to redefine what it means to have "a perfect body." i am looooving reading the responses, esp this one.

so this is what i love about mine:

my legs.

they're short and no where near model thin, but they look fabulous in heels. they're strong and thanks to spin classes and the treadmill- in the best shape of their lives. The other day at work, my go-to-guy gave me a compliment on my calves as i was walking away. If he wasn't happily married and i wasn't happily in a relationship, i might have taken it as a pick-up line, it felt that good. I say that, because the old me would have cringed and taken it as an insult. A dainty petite girl shouldn't have "sculpted calves." I could have read it as i have thick legs. I could have. But i didn't.

i sincerely thanked him, and for the rest of the day walked on air.

when i told Max the compliment later, he told me how much he loved my legs and how proud he was of my work-outs. That i shouldn't be surprised someone noticed.

i felt... beautiful. because my bf adores these legs God's given me.

they're not long, but they can sure wrap around him a la "Pretty Woman" in the bathtub.

just as important as it is for one to be beautiful {because isn't that what we are taught? and taught to admire? the beautiful?} is to FEEL beautiful.

that's what having a "perfect body" is to me.

it's times like these i wish i kept a journal.

I was looking at old drafts in my email and i found this from 2006. I was about to graduate college. The title was, "nothing to do but wait..."

I was obviously talking about my first serious boyfriend. In that same stance, C was already in my life when i make the reference about smoking.

I've come to realize...my ex: is still a good friend and yet a stranger at the same time.

I've come to realize...I have : so much more still to learn about relationships, my job, and myself.

I've come to realize...somewhere, someone is thinking: they want more out of life.

I've come to realize...I'll always be: scared of making huge decisions.

I've come to realize...the last time I truly cried was: this past week--- a very hard week.

I've come to realize that...when I wake up in the morning: I HAVE to have coffee. I have to see his smile. I have to read the paper. I have to have a cig outside with him.

I've come to realize that...before I go to sleep at night: I think a lot. I try and remember to pray.

I've come to realize that...tomorrow I will: be busy with school and work...and I will get my keys back from the stranger who has them.

i wish i remembered the girl i was.

*pic here.

absolutely all of the above

HAPPY FRIDAY lovies!!!!
i kind of fell in loooove with the below when i saw it on sweet nothings.
this is not just my friday wish for you all and myself, but how about every night of the week??!

esp. monday nights when we may need it most.
agreed? xo

first haircut tomorrow!

and my baby needs it!!!
the best welcome home is from maverick lyne. She is so excited to see her mommy, even sweaty from the gym!

i was so proud i got back to my 2 mile run at 6.0-6.5 speed {there is nothing like a sweaty run!}
i was going to settle for a healthy dinner... that is until darling friend got little boy excited about a pizza night.

i couldn't resist. you should have seen how happy he was! oh it's the small things, we agreed.

baby maverick gets her hair cute tomorrow! yay!!!! we are finally done with the series of puppy shots. I can not wait!!! also, the groomer will tell me whether or not she is in fact a mix... we have a feeling she's a bichon/havenese mix since that's what the seller breeds.

yesterday before bed, maverick was "talking to me." it's really cute! and max came running into the bedroom laughing and said, "oh yeah, that's another thing the vet said-- that malteses will "talk" with you." It kind of made us laugh out loud.