Monday, June 28, 2010

'So,' said Estella, 'I must be taken as I have been made. The success is not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me.' - Great Expectations

when i was 12, i remember cute older boys telling me i'd grow up to be a heartbreaker.

i remember listening to Billy Joel's "She's Every Woman to Me" on roadtrips when i was younger and thinking i was going to grow up and be just like the girl he was singing about.

i didn't grow up with a Miss Havisham -- i don't know where i got the idea that getting any kind of attention equaled a gift i had. But there i was at an early age knowing how to smile, what to say. How to flirt.

It came to me naturally, just like the attention.

I've got a past that is so dark and twisty but most of all sad...

because even though i thought i was going to be a heartbreaker and may have broken hearts along the way...

the worse heart i broke was mine.

Finn: What's it like not to feel anything?

Estella: Let's say there was a little girl, and from the time she could understand, she was taught to fear... let's say she was taught to fear daylight. She was taught that it was her enemy, that it would hurt her. And then one sunny day, you ask her to go outside and play and she won't. You can't be angry at her can you?

Finn: I knew that little girl and I saw the light in her eyes, and no matter what you say or do, that's still what I see.


Faiza said...

This post made me think of one of my favorite Leonard Cohen lyrics:
"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

Let your forward looking light shine Micaela.

With love.

Gracie said...

I'm at loss at what to say....but I hope that heart of yours heals! *Big hugs and thoughts sent your way*

P.S. I haven't read that book before but I think I will now. x

shelly said...

oh how i love finn and estella. i swear you stole this post out of my journal?

big hugs to you sweets xoxo

April said...

I just bought this the other day, since I've never read it.. Can't wait to, and especially now, so maybe I can understand a little bit better.

Meghan said...

This is so beautiful, lady. I adore you and your way with words!

Nicola said...

Hiya lovely, Hope you're doing ok. No worries at all about the swap - enjoy the time with your family and feel better - I wanna hear that you're all better and are back to your positive glowing self =)
Take care & much love xx

Marisa said...

Truly one of my favorites... I always loved the name Finn.

ps it was great to talk last night. i love you.

rebecca said...

I love Great Expectations, I studied it last year at school (:
Reading always helps to cheer me up, it'll all get better soon!

Claire Kiefer said...

As you know, I LOVE that Billy Joel song. She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes . . . she can ruin your faith with her casual lies . . . omg.

Fill me in on the latest, lady.

mina said...

that is absolutely my favorite book. thanks for reminding me that i need to re-read it - it's been far too long.

...and the movie is just heartbreaking, i could watch it a million times.

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