"While you're trying to figure it all out, God is working it all out."

"Don't lose church," He said to me at the end. Almost pleading, almost warning.

It was the best thing we shared [more than love].

It was like a date every sunday morning. Us and God.

It was beautiful.

I am not a morning person. But he always made sure I got up for church or else, he would leave me :) He was that devoted in going. So devoted he put up with my grouchiness. With my messy hair....

all so we could worship together. There is nothing like the power you feel when you are holding hands with the one you love and you are sharing God.

When we ended...

it was hard for me to find courage to go to church again.

Isn't that silly? courage to stand alone... to sit in the pew alone.

To not notice people looking at me and maybe wondering where he was.

I didnt want to cry when we sang songs we both enjoyed.....

So i stopped going.

just like that.

I felt incomplete. I felt ashamed. I felt scared God would punish me even more for not going. More than that... I needed him. I needed GOD.

I needed church.

And like a sign from God, when I went back after such an absence, we sang "Here I am to Worship." My favorite song.. it was our favorite song. And I sang it proudly and with a smile. He wasn't next to me anymore, and I was fine. I felt empowered. Because God had never left my side.

"Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness. Opened my eyes, let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You..."

Oh No She Didn't!!!

Joanna had naturally a great post earlier this week on SMITTEN pertaining to the very uncandid interview with Mrs. Tom Brady, Gisele Bündchen.

Have you SEEN her photo spread?

She looks great (duh!). I mean sick hot. Like the header said, "And God created Gisele..."

Joanna pointed out what we girls have all done- compared ourselves to our ex's new gf. I used to do the opposite. I would think of myself in comparison to his last girlfriend/wife. There's a bizarre curiosity to the girl he used to love. ["Little Black Book" is a cute movie all about this]

Just imagine if you were Bridget Moynahan and had to see Gisele EVERYWHERE [i would NEVER buy Victoria Secret] and hear how she thinks of your baby as hers, 100%, and she's never even met you.

Don't you just feel for Bridget? and wonder what she must be thinking? Gisele may have the world's most perfect body... BUT, look at Brady's REAL baby's Momma:

She was good enough to be the one who stole Big's heart in Sex and the City (who could forget Natasha???), shes good enough for me :)

We only have so much time to give.

My monday was pretty blue.

I was in a panic.

The song, "Good Enough" by Sarah McLachlan was in my head.

I felt sooo undeserving of his adoration.

But he met me at Starbucks.

I'm glad he did.

I saw this book as we were on our way to sit outside.

It caught my eye with it's beautiful, simple cover.

I opened this charming little book and rushed to the counter and bought it right then. I don't know why, but I immediately knew it would speak something to me. To us.

I read it to him, out loud, outside...

feeling a little silly at first, holding it out to the side like a school teacher.

and then i had to fight tears and the sound of my shaky voice.

I couldn't look at him because I knew that I would cry if i did.

"The fable revolves around a boy named Charlie, who, not content with his life, decides to pack up time — "big, bulky decades, squishy years, mushy months and raggedy days" — in a suitcase and leave home in search of something perfect to spend it on. He has to travel the world to discover that happiness is right in front of him."

*the illustrations were done by his brother. They
have a pretty cool story on how their story got
published.

i heart strappys.

"But I rationalized that my new shoes shouldn't be punished just because I can't budget."

-Carrie Bradshaw (who else right? *wink)

love my new strappy simply vera wang's. Of course I wear them on a day that it's actually cloudy outside. I love the sky like this. I heart dark clouds. It's my happy weather.

because i still make wishes at 11:11...

i wish i felt THIS completely happy again.

i wish i felt THIS beautiful again.
and i wish to not feel so cold sometimes...

cold in my heart.

because it's hurting you.
it- my heart- is not empty.

i wish i would remember that more often.

i'm sorry.

*images from this LOVELY blog i've just discovered, thx to this equally fantastic one.

i could make up a life with this picture.

*other beautiful images here.

The *PRE concert pics!!! :)

My happy-loving-britney twinkie outside the American Airlines Center

OMG, FABULOUS TIME LOVIES!!!

what.a.show.!!!!

it was hard to believe that the divine lady spears (as perez called her!) was the same girl who shaved her head & had to be rushed by ambulance to get mental help.

She was AH-MAZING!!!!

great dancing, great body, great mix of her songs.

It was SOOO MUCH fun to experience the HAPPINESS of my twinkie (her dreams came true last night!!!), along with her husband and bff Steph.

*we had pretty good seats and what is nice about her tour is the layout of her stage. She has the main center one and would make it a point to come out to each section of the arena. The props/dancing/acrobatic performances... WOW!

I am SWAMPED at work and about to leave for the day (exhausted from the drive back last night) BUT-- i miss you lovies and wanted to leave you with the pre-concert pics. Stephanie has an AWESOME camera, so I'll post a couple of those tomorrow (or when she uploads them) PROMISE!

look how happy she is!!! Marianne who HAD to get the $30 program :) the shirt she got is one we all waited in line for, the one she bought both of us :)

More to come....

Miss me, miss you!!!!