"While you're trying to figure it all out, God is working it all out."

"Don't lose church," He said to me at the end. Almost pleading, almost warning.

It was the best thing we shared [more than love].

It was like a date every sunday morning. Us and God.

It was beautiful.

I am not a morning person. But he always made sure I got up for church or else, he would leave me :) He was that devoted in going. So devoted he put up with my grouchiness. With my messy hair....

all so we could worship together. There is nothing like the power you feel when you are holding hands with the one you love and you are sharing God.

When we ended...

it was hard for me to find courage to go to church again.

Isn't that silly? courage to stand alone... to sit in the pew alone.

To not notice people looking at me and maybe wondering where he was.

I didnt want to cry when we sang songs we both enjoyed.....

So i stopped going.

just like that.

I felt incomplete. I felt ashamed. I felt scared God would punish me even more for not going. More than that... I needed him. I needed GOD.

I needed church.

And like a sign from God, when I went back after such an absence, we sang "Here I am to Worship." My favorite song.. it was our favorite song. And I sang it proudly and with a smile. He wasn't next to me anymore, and I was fine. I felt empowered. Because God had never left my side.

"Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness. Opened my eyes, let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You..."