Thursday, August 2, 2012

a sister's advice on motherhood.

My older sister Maria (mother of three) sent me her version of pregnancy must-haves. Some of the things she included were an aromatherapy set by earth therapeutics, victoria secret undies (just because our bodies are changing, doesn't mean we can't look/feel sexy), and cocoa butter for stretch marks with shea butter.

But the best and most helpful gift was the letter she wrote inside a book on breastfeeding. As I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy (46 days to go!), i'm feeling anxious and terrified of labor/delivery. Her words are exactly what I needed to hear that I wanted to share some of it with you dear readers. 

my 30 week baby bump

"There is a quote I read that I didn't fully get until I had kids. 

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

When your little baby comes-- you will undergo a transformation of the person you were, to the wife you are, to the mom you need to be and the little girl you wish you still were. You have to find yourself again, to balance all these things and new emotions. It will be hard but it is the greatest experience on earth!" 


for those who have children, what advice can you give us first time mamas? i'd love to hear! 

13 comments:

ladydazy said...

Your sister said it perfectly. Yes, you have to find your balance. You do feel lost at first. Maybe it's all those hormones. Be easy on yourself. Don't try to be perfect. That's my advice. :)

Kristyn said...

That was perfect and you look absolutely beautiful!

Jaimie Lee said...

Aww I love that quote. She is right, the emotions you go through after having your baby are amazing, and a little scary. You never imagined you could love something so much that you have never seen before. Then you are terrified that you'll mess up or not know what to do when things happen. That little person is your world and the fact you have to protect their every move is a scary situation. But it all seems to come so natural. You wake up, you feed, you sleep when you can, you eat when you can. You'll drop poopie diapers on your foot, they might even pee on you. But you laugh and then before you know it they will be turning three! (Oh geez, I can't believe it's been 3 years!!!) Don't worry girl, you got this!!

Hahaha in my first post I put you will drop poopie diapers on your butt. What the heck??!! Lmao, I had to fix it, sorry. Lol

TiffanyDRoe said...

Being as I had only been around one newborn prior to having my own child, here are things I wish someone would have told me.

Babies don't break easily.

Take it one day at a time.

It's ok to cry.

If you want to take a shower and you put her in her crib and she cries for a few minutes which she is sure to do...IT'S OK!!

If/when you return to work don't feel guilty. I remember feeling awful that I wasn't holding Thomas every second. Someone had to tell me that didn't make me any less of a mother, in fact it made me the kind of mother he needed because I was providing him with a good life.

I love you and can't wait to meet Felix. You and Chip will be amazing.

Carmela said...

Congratulations! ...and great post.

Itchin' Stitchin' said...

My advice :

You can never ever hold a baby "too" much! I comforted every cry my children made as babies, even if that meant walking around in circles with them for 3 hours. I once heard from an elder that I was "spoiling" my children by picking them up and that they needed to cry it out. It broke my heart to even think about doing that to someone I loved so much - so I didn't and all my children are very well adjusted, often get compliments on their behavior, and are in no way clingy.

Listen to yourself! You will know more than anyone else what is best for your child. There will be moments, where you will feel like the worse mom in the world - but because you have that feeling it means you are the complete opposite.

Hold on to every moment - in the beginning it feels overwhelming but soon you will adjust, it will begin to feel normal. Then one day you and your husband will be sitting on the couch telling 'remember when' stories.

Courtney said...

I now have 2 kids (as you already know!) and I have learned that you have to do what's best for you and your children, regardless of what others think, or what the "norm" is. You can read a million books, but ultimately you have to decide what you think is best. And you'll know in your heart what is best. This doesn't really apply to you yet, because you only have one sweet baby, but later down the road you'll discover what worked for one baby may not work for the next. Zoe and Noah are complete opposites and I've had to do things for Noah I didn't have to do with Zoe. Also, expect less! By that I mean, don't expect to have a clean house, all the dishes done, laundry put away, and all your errands/grocery shopping, etc done in one day. If I can get ONE thing done in a day, I'm happy! If I can get to ONE store in a day, I'm happy! When you have kids, it just takes longer to get things done and that's okay! (That has been a really hard thing for me to learn and accept.) You and Chip will be great parents...You both come from such amazing and loving families. Felix is blessed to have such wonderful people surround her with so much love! I can't wait to see her sweet face! Wish I could give you a big hug! :) Miss you!

Red Boots said...

My advice is nothing particularly profound - just learn to trust your own instincts and go with them. There is no right or wrong way to bring up a child - you just have to go with what works for you and what feels right :) x

Claudia said...

Dear Micaela don't be terrified of labor, doctor's know what they are doing! You will forget the pain the second you see her.

I cried the first night I brought Sophia home, and then I cried the night I brought Xavi home because I didn't brush Sophia's teeth that night! Hormones will make you crazy but just follow your instincts and you guys will be fine!

I send you much love!

TiffanyDRoe said...

Hey honey. I saw this on Pinterest and thought of you...so much of it is true!!

Love you!

http://www.e-tells-tales.com/2011/07/if-i-could-repack-our-hospital-bag.html

Lottie said...

that quote is so beautiful.

and although i can't wait to meet my baby girl i am scared already that i will not be good enough.

but all these comments have made me realise it is a process--and that in it there is no such thing as perfection :)

Erin said...

OMG I am late reading this but I love it! Thanks for sharing.

Kathy said...

reading this late but here's some advice:

first off, congrats on the pregnancy!! motherhood is a blessing and frustrating at the same time but once your little one comes, you'll wonder how you ever lived without her.

1) everyone will have advice for you. take everything with a grain of salt

2) if for whatever reason you can't breastfeed or don't want to, don't worry about it!! as long as baby is healthy, happy and fed (bottle or breast), that's all that matters!

3) a newborn turns your world upside down. it's ok to feel inadequate sometimes, it's ok to be unsure. it's what parenthood is all about. ask for help, ask for advice.

4) it's ok to feel frustrated! we all have at some point with kids (still do!!)

5) sleep when baby sleeps.

6) you can never hold your baby too much. cuddle and snuggle all you want; the years will fly by

7) enjoy every moment; they grow so fast!

congrats again :)

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