we've all been there.

one of my exes who's still a good friend blackberry messaged me yesterday to say he got some news today. The sordid economy affected him- he had been (in his words) terminated. I asked him if he needed to talk because i was about to go to bed- but of course would be there for him. He assured me that he would recover, he always does... the question was when/how. He was on his way to go out drinking with a friend and had already started the process.

then he said [as what happens when we drink and feel let down by the world] he wished he had been different when it counted. There was something sweet and still yet so final about that last line. When it counted.

Think about it...
those words just stuck out to me.

I told him i wished a lot of things.
Don't we all have someone we wish we could say that to?
the thing about love is that it's such a vicious cycle.
I couldn't say it back to him, and mean it.

but to another... to the one:
I wish i had been different when it counted too.