It's okay not to be strong every once in awhile.

last night i had a pity party, party of one.
just me, a glass of wine (ok the rest of the bottle from v-day)
and my ipod on shuffle.

"what if" by coldplay came on...

What if I got it wrong?
And no poem or song..
Could put right what I got wrong,
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side?

and soon after, so did my empty tears.
my heart was heavy.

i don't know what started my pity party.
Maybe it was seeing "revolutionary road"... really amazing acting by Leonardo DiCaprio i have to say, and i agree with Meg now, our girl Kate? not so much.
Maybe i saw a past relationship mirrored on screen and it broke my heart all over again.

Maybe it was a heart-breaking email about family.

Maybe i just needed a good cry. Maybe i missed him for a second.

My friend joel was saying how i was always a social butterfly- that i still am. And i told him that i just have broken wings now.

The part that counts when you have a pity party... is picking yourself up and saying enough. The bonus? having someone who understands your hurt, and holds you when you are.

He doesn't deserve to have a broken girl.
And like another song by my beloved Coldplay- He fixes me.